recovery + motherwound healing
At first glance, motherwound healing and grey-area drinking recovery are two separate umbrellas in the world of healing. One is about addiction, the other about generational trauma.
And yet:
Every single person I've worked with who has come to me for recovery coaching has had a deep and pervasive motherwound.
And
Every single person I've worked with who has come to me for mother wound mentorship has dealt with addiction: either substance or behavioural/process (shopping, gambling, sex, scrolling, disordered eating, etc.)
This is because at the core, both addiction and the mother wound are about self-abandonment.
With drinking, we are giving away our energy, time and power to a substance that gives us very little in return (unless you count regret, shame, embarrassment, anxiety, depression, brain damage, increase risk of cancer, etc.)
With the mother wound, we are giving away our energy, time and power to a person who has proven time and time again that they're not capable of handling such precious gifts - despite our deepest yearning and desire that she'll magically become the mother we've always wanted. Until we are ready to face that, we twist ourselves in knots trying to get her to see, to hear to understand. While we do this, it's like consistently going back to a well that you know has run dry.
Addiction recovery and mother wounding are about self abandonment. And so even if the application is a bit different, the remedy is essentially the same:
both are about RECOVERING yourself and parts of who you lost to alcohol/your mother.
They're both about learning boundaries (with yourself and others).
They're both about learning how to *truly* prioritize your wellbeing and make a habit of noticing what you need and fulfilling that need in an adaptive way.
They're both about learning to look at your history clearly and accept your current situation instead of living in denial or the (understandable) child-like fantasy that this time will be different.
They're both about learning to tolerate discomfort without escaping or chasing.
They're both about establishing safety and a strong foundation.
They both take time, practice, patience, radical honesty + responsibility, gentleness and support.
And neither of them or the feelings they induce go away through wishful thinking, ignoring them, toxic positivity or 'simple mindset shifts' (even though there will be many coaches on IG who would like to convince you otherwise.)
They both take work.
The discomfort of that work is not nearly as painful as constant self-abandonment.
I think at the core of almost healing practices is learning how to reclaim our power. This is the exact work I do with the people I work with. I help them how to reclaim what is lost in a way that is sustainable, gentle and true to them. If you're curious about making the leap (I get how making this choice can feel very scary) and want some loving support, accountability, tools and practices on your journey, you can book a call to see how we can make that happen for you.
Working 1:1 with people is my absolute favourite thing to do. I would trade in all of the hours of backend work any day to be in a zoom room with you. To help you unravel the confusing things that are keeping you stuck, help you re-write your narrative from one of broken to wholeness and witness and guide you as you return the power you are currently giving away, back to her rightful owner.
Want to learn more about your motherwound? This is your must-watch workshop.